1. Girls Shalt Not Have Sex.
(someone asked me what the guy word for ‘slut’ is
and I couldn’t find an answer.
it’s an old story: a rumour goes around that so-and-so
blew a boy in the disabled toilets.
the girl fakes a cough to get herself sent home
to escape the classroom-wide hiss of ‘slut’
while the boy she blew walks into the same class
and is greeted by an onslaught of high-fives)
2. Girls Shalt Love Boys.
(when I was ten, there was a movie trailer where two girls
leaned in for a kiss, and I felt sick for the rest of the day.
it took four years
along with faux-casual questions to friends
useless quizzes on the internet
entries in a diary that I later scribbled out
to admit, fine, okay, yes,
and another year after that to say it without mumbling)
3. Girls Shalt Not Be Bitches.
(it took over ten years of school for me to realize
my women teachers got called bitches
for doing things that my male teachers got called efficient for.
we were assigned to a group project in science class
and whenever my friend tried to tell the others to quiet down
so they could get on with the work,
she was jeered into silence
and she never found it fair that her boyfriend did
the same thing and the noise stopped.)
4. Girls Shalt Have A Vagina.
(she introduced herself with a deep voice and a gushing smile.
she had a pink dress and an adam’s apple
she had a necklace resting above her cleavage
she had escaped from an all-boys high school
and I didn’t understand until I learned later
gender is more than the two rigid boxes
that we are told to tick one of)
5. Girls Shalt Smile.”
(he frowned when the subject was brought up
and he shrugged a lot as he explained
that we look better when we smile. Less hostile.
His shrugs stiffened when I asked him why we shouldn’t look hostile.
‘I dunno,’ he said, dropping to a mumble. ‘Girls aren’t s’posed to look hostile, I guess.’
The next time someone walked past me on the street
and told me to smile,
I gave him my sunniest grin
and a middle finger.)
I am now 100% convinced that Good Omens Crowley is behind the posts-reblogging-as-links default function…
A. Because it’s just the sort of tiny annoyance that balloons into frustrated misanthropy that he would appreciate.
B. Because that joke I made about the Good Omens movie keeps getting reblogged from Neil Gaiman’s blog as a link, which cuts off at “
The Good Omens movie is announced. Neil Gaiman publicly states his approval with every aspect of the movie,” and I keep reading the tags on the post and seeing comments like “I SAW THIS AND HOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO BE AN ACTUAL ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE MOVIE NOOOOO”, and maybe I’m just evil but I’m getting more amusement out of it than I got out of the joke to begin with.
That actually makes a disturbing amount of sense.
I replied to a dick pic with an even bigger dick pic and the dude blocked me.
APPARENTLY some people don’t appreciate pictures of dicks. WHAT A CRAZY CONCEPT?!?
I am doing this from now on. Fellas you have been warned.
sometimes I see this and I get a little sad
because I wonder what happened to the girl who tried to comfort a monster, the one who couldn’t even watch when her father was run over on the street, the one who collapsed into her mum’s arms after losing her best friend, the girl who demanded a serving maid be kept safe because she mattered just as much as Charles Dickens
I don’t mean to say I don’t like the woman she became, or that she isn’t compassionate or kind or caring, and I definitely am not saying that the nineteen/twenty year old Rose wasn’t brave or capable or daring
but I look at those gifs and I think of all the worlds she must have seen, all the things she must have been pushed through and all the ways her heart must have broken because it must have been momentous for Rose Tyler to not even look behind her at those people running, to not even twitch at the explosion blooming behind her, for her face to look so goddamn cold and her whole body so used to the weight of a gun
she must be happy with who she is, as well she should, but I wonder if she sometimes looks up at the stars and misses the girl she used to be, the one who watched Cassandra die- the megalomaniac vapid villain who tried to kill her- and turned to the Doctor and asked him to save her
“I can’t look at Hannibal. He looks so strange, almost….inhuman. Like a fake person….Mads Mikkelsen on the other hand. I am an adult man who drives to work and I would gay lay down for that. Face down ass up. I am sorry mom but that valiant Viking God got me trapped.”